Vision at 6 and sexual orientation at 7

(I am the red head - dyed obviously - naturally a blond, now gone white)

  When I was 6 I had a vision of sorts of what my life would be like as an adult.  Where it came from is unknown to me as it had info that just wasn't available to me that young in it.  I was to be a monk in a cave that had herbs hanging to dry from the ceiling and I created medicines for my people and I dispensed advise to folks.  In the "vision" I was a hermit and folks ONLY came to me for advice or medicine and not for social reasons.  In my vision people would travel far to do so.  So to my child brain I was pretty darn powerful and successful at this.  Well by the time I was even 10 that idea of what my life would be like I no longer even believed in.  Rather at 10 I was thinking I would be a famous singer LOL.  And by the time I was about 13 I had fully bought the american dream (2.5 kids, house, two car garage, picket fence, thriving career, two week vacation a year, yada yada yada) as what my future would be like and I knew not which career I would choose but was on board working hard and playing hard and being successful at such and that is what I started working towards and nearly achieved.  

Yet here I am a hermit who does aromatherapy and herbalism but who dispenses it to no one (save in soap lotions salves and other bath products) but myself as I don't trust myself enough to treat others' diseases despite the fact that I am actually trained - literally at a school - in aromatherapy.  I just think one should have a firm grasp on how to diagnose a person before one dispenses any kind of medicine (essential oils are so powerful that using them is rather risky) so I only use the herbs and essential oils on me (well I treated my mom for cracked lips with a balm that had highly antibacterial and antiviral essential oils in addition to high end fats and things like lecithn to help with dry and cracking lips as well as lotions for dry skin and an antibacterial room spray - she suffered from schleraderma - rheumatoid problem and I have fibromyalgia and had had lupus for about a decade before it magically went away which is supremely lucky as I had been unable to walk without a walker the pain in my joints so severe but now can walk about 20 minutes sans the walker without too terribly much pain , but after that still tons of pain but the lupus has cleared from my blood so not sure what is going on and no dr seems able to figure it out either).  

In the vision too I knew who was Gandhi and I wished to emulate him as an adult and have been all about nonviolence my entire life (despite actually hitting a couple folks LOL - still the value system I fully am on board with so that when I have been attacked the vast majority of the time I have not fought back - but not 100% of the time so to me while I fully believe nonviolence is the way to go I am hardly perfect at it and nowhere near as influential or creative in problem solving as Gandhi obviously LOL  - we need another guy or gal like that to come along rather badly right now!!!)  But how would I even know what monks do or about being a hermit and herbalism or Gandhi at age 6?  There was nothing remotely like that on TV back that long ago where we only had like 5 channels and there was not stuff like that on any show and while I could read they were children's books mostly that young and my parents hadn't said anything about herbalism - my dad didn't even do that but did grow herbs for cooking so where came all this info??

Much later in life I witnessed a guy in a wheelchair having an enlightenment experience - it was plain as day - all the sudden his face lit up and he was able to walk and talk and he said I was meant to be a nun and I understood him perfectly - he meant that I was not to marry and that my main focus was to be spirituality not that I am to become a literal nun plus I caught a tad of that experience (which it is not unusual for folks to catch a bit of the experience when someone near them physically is having an enlightenment experience and why it has been throughout history that people are very moved by someone in that state - I used to have a notebook with the names of folks who had these experiences - they are rather rare - and poetry they had written etc like Joan of Arc for instance had a few enlightenment experiences - anyway I could kick myself for losing it!!!)  he was having and it was plain he wasn't trying to be rude or that he was out of his head or anything like that.  He wasn't even trying to convince me rather he was just reminding me of that and trying to be helpful.

Well and at 7 I knew that I was bi and I ardently believe people are born with their sexual identity and orientation in place - ie: one doesn't choose to be straight or gay or trans as who in their right mind would choose to be something that is soooo stigmatized (but exists in every culture known to man) and will cause them so much distress the rest of their lives.  Being bi for a female isn't a terribly compromised position as say being a man and gay or bi but I did live with a girlfriend for 13 years and we did encounter a bit of nastiness here and there from folks - most especially from my own family which I was just furious with about.  For instance my sister didn't wish her kids to know that I was bi and my mother flat out refused to take Sheila with us on vacation and not because she didn't like her but because it would be confusing to my sister's kids - which to this day to me is outrageous and wrong headed but it is what it is.  I created a facebook page just so that I could be myself without discrimination from my own family and it is still going strong now just shy of 10,000 page likes (not post reactions mind which is in the 100s of thousands).