Hi,
I am writing to gather my thoughts with the goal of writing a book someday (goal of book to help others that are mentally ill).
I am diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder w/psychotic features, DID and PTSD plus a host of physical ailments. Some crosses to bear are significantly heavier than others. Anyone who's parents have not explained to them that life is not fair (seemingly anyway to humans) please raise your hand as you are among a very small group. In fact those parents mostly got that one right and have been about spreading the word from the beginning of time (it would seem).. Why is it mostly right? and not flat out fact is that it is quite possible that buddhist beliefs such as karma actually DO balance the scale (Christianity does not for it will take in the folks who have done so much damage to me just upon them asking forgiveness whereas if I don't agree and become grateful and asking forgiveness from a god that would do the most horrible thing that can be done I am the one who will burn forever in hell for all time- oh ya as if that is even remotely fair, effective, logical , responsible, plausable NOT it has got to be nonsense or this god has such a huge ego complex that right and wrong don't mean anything to him only worship of him - nope don't buy it - I have heard and read Christian stuff from old and even present day that tell a different story - one that IS more sensical and fair so if you have a different understanding just consider this one a misread by me on what that religion is about plus I have a huge boulder on my shoulder having gone to Catholic private school so I know the theology fairly well and there ARE other takes like gnosticism which I tend to agree with them so I guess I DO still qualify as Christian - I like what Gandhi said "I am a Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Islamic Jew" or something very similar anyway). I personally have an issue with karma as a belief (not that I don't believe it, I just don't like it) because to have the sheer amount of troubles and traumas I have experienced I had to have been a truly bad/evil person before this lifetime. I have less trouble with the notion we chose our major life circumstances because we wanted to learn from them in order to help others. But just because that makes it seem more honorable does not necessarily make it true - yet I think there is at least some bit of truth to both karma and choosing to come here to learn certain things.
I think of the major religions as 5 blind men describing an elephant - consider the following: one blind man is given a foot to feel, one a trunk to feel, one a tail to feel, one a back to feel and one a tusk. When asked to describe what they have experienced with the elephant they argue one saying it is round heavy wide and hard, one saying no it is curved and points upwards, another saying no it's skinny and hairy, one claiming it is supporting his body weight and smells quite ripe and one saying it is curvy, soft and moves. What they are not aware of is all of them are correct as it is one elephant they are describing but the reason for the differences is merely these men have not the ability to perceive the whole. I believe all the major religions small bits of truth of the whole/IT/ONE/UNIVERSE/GOD/DESS/however you conceive a higher power/creator. I describe myself as a student and mystic of all the 5 major religions plus I believe Wicca a fantastic way to use ritual to heal others no matter how far away ( I will be discussing quantum physics among many other things) as well as finding and calling home lost pets among other things. Ritual is merely prayer acted out. My belief is the more feeling and effort goes into it the more effective it is at achieving your goal plus it is a very logical system, nature based, can be done anywhere with tools fashioned from anything. Wiccans do not believe in prostelytizing so I will leave it there except to say they brook no issue with whom one believes is the creator such that there are Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist and Islam wiccans - they just tend to not speak of it. Wicca is mostly about magic (any prayer is about magic as well however I mean more formally) which is the ability to alter reality to your bidding. There is one hard rule but completely in accordance with all the other religions' dogma and that is as long as you cause no harm do what thee will (basically the golden rule plus an attitude of personal freedom).
I bring up spirituality in combination with mental illness because I think at least bipolar and schizophrenic patients actually do have a keener understanding/experience of the spiritual world - some of what are hallucinations or delusions have born out to be actually true but not very believable to many because we are discussing things outside normal human experience that many think just plain have no basis in fact. But I have met many bipolar and schizophrenic people and they generally DO have a more advanced understanding of the spiritual world than your average Joe. It is fact that the mentally ill are less violent than the general population - part of why is that they are more spiritually adept/aware (another part is anyone who has suffered so much generally have greater compassion towards others and their difficulties in life). Also I do believe they tend to have higher IQ than your average Joe as well. That last is too hard to prove due to how it would be tested but many of the people I have met who are mentally ill are downright genius (no I am no genius myself but I have a higher than average IQ). It has been shown that people who are depressed or suicidal have a higher than average IQ. How does that play in? Because they actually see/perceive things with higher acuity than other folks and indeed the world can be blisteringly difficult to navigate but many live as if on remote control like robots not really perceiving much of what is actually going down.
To finish off this first post I would like to say welcome and I hope you enjoy reading about science, philosophy, spirituality and human behavior.
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